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Why I Love Halloween (Hint: Liturgical Days to Remember the Dead)

Growing up as a farm kid in Saskatchewan, Halloween was when I got to pretend that I was a town kid.

My mom would take my younger sister, my younger brother, and I – all dressed in our cobbled-together costumes – into town to go trick-or-treating. We'd group up with friends and cousins at our aunt and uncle's place, and then we'd hit up every house in the village for treats.

I'd hear things like, "Little Bobbi Jae! How you've grown!" Thomas R.'s mom would scare us half to death when she flung open the door dressed as a witch. We'd race to the houses handing out full-size candy bars. I remember dragging an overstuffed pillowcase through a surprise snowstorm one Halloween, intent not to lose even a Tootsie Roll from my Halloween haul.

If I were to narrow in on what I loved about Halloween as a kid, I would say more than the mountain of candy – it's the memory of community. Doors flung open to neighbours, moms dressed in costumes for a laugh, and the trust offered to kids wandering the streets without parents but still safe amongst friends.

As I've grown, I've added other layers of meaning to Halloween. Halloween reminds me of mortality, the mystery of the afterlife, and the memories we store of those who are no longer with us.

All of that is appropriate, considering the days that follow Halloween in the church calendar are All Saints (Nov. 1) and All Souls (Nov. 2). For over a thousand years, faithful Christians have held feasts to commemorate those who have departed. Halloween is, after all, the contraction of the words All Hallow's Eve or "The Evening Before a Day We Honour as Holy."

All Saints is about remembering the saints who lived godly, exemplary lives. Thomas Cranmer wrote a collect (a short prayer) for All Saints that goes like this: "Give us grace to follow your blessed saints in all virtuous and godly living."

All Souls is about commemorating ordinary people, remembered and forgotten, who have died. An abbot in the 11th century wrote that the purpose of All Souls was for "all the dead who have existed from the beginning of the world to the end of time."

Let me bring together my love for Halloween and the link to the liturgical calendar in one final story.

Before I got married, I shared a house with a family. I had a suite in the home of my friends Maggie and Jacob and their three children. Over the years, I joined them for celebrations, holidays, and family rituals. My favourite was their ritual on Halloween before the kids went trick-or-treating in the neighbourhood.

After dinner, we'd light a tea light and go around the dinner table to name someone who had died, whom we remembered, and whom we loved. It was profound to listen to little Samuel, maybe four or five the first time I joined them, saying he missed a family friend who had died.

I thought it wise of Maggie and Jacob to make death something we could discuss. Not only that, but they carved out a small space through a ritual where we honoured loss. It's been years since I lived with these friends, but every Halloween, I light a tea light and remember those I love who are no longer living.

I also speak this simple liturgy, just like I did with Maggie, Jacob, and their family.

Light a candle in the darkness
Light a candle in the night
Let the love of Jesus light us
Light a candle in the night
– Celtic Daily Prayer

Whatever your feelings about Halloween, it's ok. You can love it, or you can hate it. You can find it deliciously spooky, or you can find it nauseatingly grotesque. Either way, let me encourage you to include a short ritual around Halloween – on your own, with a loved one, or taught to your kids.

Make some space to remember those who have died, light a candle in their memory, and say a little prayer.

Halloween is still about community for me, but it stretches past my childhood town. Now, the All Saints/All Souls ritual is what I look forward to most about this time of year. We remember lost family, friends, saints, and sinners, and as we remember, we are blessed by their lives.

Even beyond the grave.

Be well,
Bobbi

We invite you to say this prayer for All Saints' Day, which was shared with the Commons community on October 30th.

You can find it here on the Weekly Liturgy blog.